We had Thanksgiving dinner today, a week late in Canada and four weeks early if you’re American, which I’m not, so, close enough. Anyway, a true holiday is the day you celebrate it with family, not the specific calendar date.
Additionally, tomorrow is my youngest, M’s, 12th birthday, so we celebrated it today, so in addition to a turkey feast we also chowed down on birthday cake and ice cream. I was still hanging around 230 pounds but I’m afraid to weigh myself for a few days because after today I’m probably 390.
(Obligatory fatherly note: M is a ridiculously wonderful child, funny and sweet and artistic and gentle, and the fact she only speaks in Internet memes confuses me but oh well. It’s been 12 wonderful years.)
So for the weight loss thing has been a remarkably dismal failure, as I have successfully injured myself and failed to lose any weight, so technically my health is worse than when I started. My knee was X-rayed and… whatever the past tense verb is for getting an ultrasound is (Ultrasounded? Ultraed?) and the doctor is supposed to call me and tell me what the results were. I’ve been waiting a week and I’m running out of knee pills, so I’d better hear soon or I’ll have to get some meth or something.
I’m going to proceed on the assumption that my knee will not be any better anytime soon, which means several calorie-burning options are out, leaving
- Upper body exercise. We don’t have any weights and also I hate lifting weights. They’re much too heavy. I can’t even do an honest pushup anymore. When I was in the Army I could do all kinds of pushups. During basic training (“General Military Training” as it’s officially called) I would routinely do 50, 60, 100 pushups. We’d get double credit for doing pushups on our knuckles and I’d do 30-50 of those and not think twice about it. I wasn’t any stronger, I was just lighter. I had no appreciation them for how physically capable I was and I blew it eating like a pig. Also I wasted money, started off university majoring in history (why?) and didn’t realize it when a girl liked me. I cannot believe how stupid I was. My Dad tried to tell me but I was too stupid to listen.
- Eating less. Obviously, today’s 5000-calorie extravaganza of munching could not have helped.
I am quite certain I have some kind of eating addiction I’m only barely keeping at bay. My only foolproof strategy is to simply not have the food around. If there is food to eat, I will eat it. I’m as bad as our dog.
3. Swimming or something like that. I don’t really like it, though.
A good bit of news is they’re opening a new community center across the street from us, one that looks to be pretty massive. It won’t be open for a year but will include a fitness center, and I do like elliptical trainers and such.
I guess I really can’t wait a year to lose weight though, huh?
This is going to be harder than I thought.